“Do I need a main deity to practice Kemeticism? If so, how do I get a main deity? Am I obligated to learn everything I can about my main deity? Am I able to say no to a deity that shows up at my shrine?”
The magic 8 ball says, “Ask again later.”
These are a lot of “should” questions. I’m horrible at those, but I’ll give it a try.
Do I need a main deity to practice Kemeticism?
I don’t believe that having a main deity is a requirement. I’m sure it’s possible to practice Kemeticism without one. Beginners in the Kemetic Orthodoxy are actually encouraged to keep their shrines neutral, because you can’t be sure who is going to show up later. However, if you get beyond the beginner stage, whatever flavor of Kemetic you are, and you still don’t have favorites, you might get some odd looks.
I’m not very fond of people who hand out odd looks though. Just because it’s the normal thing doesn’t mean it has to be your thing. It’s better to be patient if you’re not sure than to grab the nearest god in a stranglehold just because you think you need one. And maybe you’re just not that kind of person, who can say?
How do I get a main deity?
I’m not sure how you do it. In my case, they decided to club me over the head, and when I ignored them, they clubbed harder. I have a pretty thick skull. They had to work at it.
I did get a divination done through the KO, but my number one deity was pretty obvious long before then. If one of the Herus didn’t show up, I was pretty sure my interest in the organization wouldn’t last. Sekhmet also said she’d be there, and she was. Ra, as a second father, and Djehuty as a beloved, were not surprises. I might not have predicted Sobek, but we’ve been getting along very well as I’ve gotten to know him better. (Yeah, I know. Five is a lot, though I’ve seen someone get six.) I have no complaints with my RPD(Rite of Parent Divination). The divination made things more clear, but it didn’t magically poof them into my life. So, there’s being chosen, and there’s divination to tell you what’s already there if you can’t see it. If you do some sort of divination, don’t just accept, or reject, it blindly. Make sure you understand the results before you start making promises, or boarding up your windows.
Some pagans might hand you a catalog of gods and tell you to read about their various attributes. Window shopping for gods sounds iffy if you ask me. It’s ok to read the book, but then you should promptly throw it out afterwards. The one that looks good in print might not be the one who is actually right for you. Yours might be the one with the funny name with barely a sentence worth of description. You never know. It goes back to the part about being patient. Maybe that weird name will get stuck in your head, or maybe you’ll start running into a certain animal or image everywhere you go. It happens. Maybe you’ll even find yourself being handed off from one god to another as time goes by.
Am I obligated to learn everything I can about my main deity?
Obligations are between you and them. Maybe your god will insist that you hit the books. Mine did not. I actually had an aversion to doing research for the longest time, which I assume was partly His influence. I would actually start to feel a little sick or worn out when trying to read up on Kemet. Heru preferred to have me learn from my experiences with Him. Later on, I did get my hands on the books. I discovered that I wasn’t too far off, but I tend to arrive at the same ideas from a different angle. I guess what I’m saying is that learning will happen if you are paying attention. How it happens, and what you learn, may vary. You don’t need a degree to be a good Kemetic.
Am I able to say no to a deity that shows up at my shrine?
Sure, you can say “No.” There is always a choice. Choices have consequences. There are consequences for saying “Yes” too. There is no easy answer to this one. It depends on why they are asking, and why you feel the need to refuse. Maybe the right answer isn’t “Yes” or “No,” maybe you just aren’t ready and need to say “Ask again later.”