KRT: How did I get here?

How did you get started in Kemeticism? Tips? Stories?

My first reaction to this prompt is, “Dear gods, I don’t want to tell that story again!”

Short version is that Sekhmet showed up in a vision and I promptly ignored her and avoided all things Egyptian like the plague for years. What do you expect from Sekhmet? Her message was not a gentle one. Ra decided later that that kind of behavior simply wouldn’t stand, and he got involved. I reluctantly began to acknowledge Their existence and influence, but I was still the stubborn horse. They couldn’t make me drink.

Fast forward to the dream. I guess that’s where my formal interest in Kemeticism started.

I was in an old hotel room in a foreign country. I thought it looked like Mexico. The paint was an odd turquoise color that was cracked and peeling in a few places. I stood at the window with my cab driver. He looked tanned and athletic, with short greying hair. He brought my attention to the square out the window, with the park across the street, the shops and the street vendors outside. He especially wanted me to see the Egyptian trinkets they had for sale, the Eye of Horus necklaces and a bust of Nefertiti in the shop. I wondered why he thought I’d be interested in that cheap tourist trash, and yet, there was something I really wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t find the words.

The next morning, I had a change of heart. I thought that maybe one Horus statue couldn’t hurt. I even had an image of one I’d like to have, hand carved from some grey marbled stone, about six or seven inches high. I haven’t actually seen one like that. I looked. Anyway, I realized that some of my previous aversions had let up a little. I found the Kemetic Orthodoxy online, and, here I am. (I’m fairly sure now that the cab driver was Wepwawet, who “opened the way” for this change.)

Unfortunately, not even the gods own “magic wands.” Not even Wepwawet could make old habits disappear completely. My aversions and resistances still crop up. It takes more “spoons” than it should to participate on the forums, or chats. Research sometimes makes me feel ill. Instead of making me feel close to the gods and being a safe relaxing space, I struggle with shrine time, as it only seems to emphasize our separation. I tend to stick to journeywork, random hellos, and the odd project or hobby, but I do those every day. Kemeticism isn’t something I do. It’s something I breathe.

My advice? Join a group, or don’t. Follow the advice, or don’t. Give it a fair try and see if it works. If it doesn’t then keep trying until you find what does work. I can’t really tell you how your practice is supposed to look. No one can. If They want you, it’s usually better to play along than to stick your fingers in your ears and pretend not to hear. There’s only so much of that They will tolerate.

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5 thoughts on “KRT: How did I get here?

  1. I totally get where you’re coming from with your resistance and their persistence. I’ve come to Kemeticism in the same way. Finally allowing myself to be led and see where it goes. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

    • shezep says:

      -nods- Following along to see where it goes is a big part of it. Some of us are just a little more stubborn about it than others. 🙂

  2. Shine says:

    It’s scary how closely your story matches mine, right down to the aversion. I’ve had better luck getting through the aversion when it comes to shrine time. For community stuff? Not really. Some of us are just meant to be solitary, lol. FWIW, the Netjeru you work with might be slowly breaking through your aversions and resistances. They’re rather persistent with that sort of thing, eh?

    It’s weird that there’d be some kind of internal resistance to the Divine for some of us. Maybe it’s because the Divine is so. . . *big*. You come up against it and your brain just doesn’t want to deal with it. Most brains aren’t wired for that kind of contact. There’s a reason why we talk about things “blowing our minds”.

    • shezep says:

      They are working on breaking down my resistances, but not really to the things most people would expect. Aset was just giving me a lesson in keeping my heart open, a lesson I need to have repeated often. They’re not even trying for shrine at the moment.

      And the “cheap tourist trash?” I guess I’m fighting back there by trying to learn how to make the real stuff, not out of plastic or plaster. It’s not the items I dislike, it’s how they’ve lost meaning and purpose over the years. It’s being reminded of what was lost that gives me that ick feeling.

  3. […] How Did I Get Here? : Dawn of the Two Feathers […]

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