(To catch up with the Pagan Blog Project, I’m snagging and reposting this one for the letter P that I missed earlier.)
When I was at the bottom of the river, spiritually speaking, it was time to think about my last regrets. I’d already given up a lot of things to the river. After everything else, what was left that still disturbed me from my rest?
I never really made peace with myself.
I always thought I wasn’t good enough. I’d been told so, so many times. I was told it so often, I believed it. I thought that if I just did this thing or that thing then I could prove them, and myself, wrong. Well friends, it just doesn’t work that way. You can chase your own tail forever and it will never be enough.
How then? (I even listed it as a goal for this month! Is that hilarious, or what?)
Heru came to see me today while I meditated. He said it wasn’t something to do in a month. It was something to do right now. Make peace in this moment, right here. Then do it again in another moment. And again. It’s not something you can just decide once and for all. Peace is something to exercise like a muscle. If you haven’t used it in awhile, it is weak. You might not be able to keep it up for long before unease sets back in. The more you practice, the easier it gets.
Make peace now. Then do it again. And the next day. And the next day.