I may actually be learning stuff.
I’ve been thinking about the balance between making space and groundedness. Shu showed me how to expand the mental spaces in between my various projects. I just sort of imagine them as objects, or shapes, and spread them out a little so they’re not crowding each other. But if I spread them out too far, then I feel like I’m losing energy. So then I remember Geb and bring it back to earth. There is an optimum space there, not too much or too little, like gravity holding planets and satellites together in a steady orbit. If I feel stifled, I look to Shu. If I feel like I’m drifting, I look to Geb.
I’ve recognized that my dependence on Ra is a real thing that I can’t ignore. I’ve started taking walks every morning in the bright sunshine. That’s the best way to keep winter depression at bay. Heru is glad that I’m getting some exercise in. As an added bonus, I’ve been going barefoot. The changes in stride that go along with that are beneficial for tai chi. It changes the way the foot connects with the ground, getting away from the heel strike. It reminds me to toughen up a little. I’m also reminded of my monk dream in which I decided to forgo the shoes. My daughter even started walking with me. She talks about being “hard core” and not complaining. These are lessons she very much needs to learn as she’s usually the first to complain about everything. A little bit of bribery didn’t hurt there, but it was her idea. She needs to build up her endurance for soccer since she’s not part of a regular PE program.
The project is teaching me other things too. As I learn to embrace each deity in turn, I’m also starting to look for opportunities to engage with the people I meet. I’m naturally an introvert. Lack of energy usually makes me want to hide in the hermit cave. That tendency hasn’t disappeared, but I’m feeling a little more open to spending a few minutes here or there getting in touch with the people around me. I’m starting to pay more attention to exchanges, influence, and the banking of good will. I don’t spend a whole lot of time on any one exchange, and I keep enough space to prevent myself from feeling stuck. Mostly it’s an awareness thing. I’m not overtly doing much that is different.
Ptah has shown me about patience and care in creation, something that will serve me well when I sit down to make faience. Cultivation of image is also important, and it’s not just cosmetic. Care in appearance filters though into care in other areas such as creation and maintenance. He has high standards, but he also gets good results. He did not give the impression of being “stuffy” however. He was relaxed and natural in his environment. This kind of cultivation and care should be a natural expression of your design, not a way to falsely bolster yourself. (And certainly NOT a platform to use for looking down on others. That is not a gentlemanly use of effort. Be an example, not a bludgeon.) I have a long way to go before I can live up to his example, but it gives me something to think about.