Spirituality and Religion are not Fun!

Franz Stuck [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Do the Work!

Spirit work and religion are not supposed to be fun. The gods are not your imaginary friends to play with. They’re not your therapists. Religion is a very serious and important business that is crucial to the continual revolution of the planet. If you’re having fun, then obviously you’re not working hard enough.

If work was fun, it wouldn’t be called “work.” We all know what a terrible chore it is to prepare dinner and invite your friends over, but that’s the price you have to pay in order to have beneficial relationships with other beings, human or otherwise.

That goes double for godlike beings who lower Themselves to spend time in the company of lowly humans. Without organic, locally grown, vegan, beluga caviar, they very likely won’t show up, or if they do, they will be very disapproving of your meager offerings. Much like cats, they only love you for what you put in their offering dishes. They don’t care about your whiny excuses about losing your job, and they likely won’t help you with trivial problems like that unless it somehow gets in the way of their usual feeding time.

Gods have very long memories and they expect yours to be just as robust. If you happen to forget one of their favorite holidays, don’t be surprised if they suddenly give you the cold shoulder, much like when you forget your girl friend’s birthday.

They enjoy music and conversation, as long as it’s always about Them. Feel free to write songs and dance, but please make sure that all of your performances are technically and historically correct. And don’t ever EVER soil their divine ears with that filthy rock and roll music! Not only is it jarring to their sensibilities, those songs occasionally talk about sex, and we all know that pagan deities despise anything and everything carnal.

Don’t waste their time with chatter about how your day has been. They have no interest in human matters at all. They don’t want to hear about how the flu has made you miserable or put you in the hospital with an unusually high fever. Do you think that just because you gave them a few good meals that they will intervene in the cosmic order and save your puny hide? They are not vending machines.

Serving the gods is its own reward, just don’t for one minute entertain the selfish thought of asking what those rewards might be. May your heart be filled with divine light and gratitude knowing that they deign to look in your general direction, or knowing that they generally ignore your existence, whichever.

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5 thoughts on “Spirituality and Religion are not Fun!

  1. von186 says:

    okay, so, I posted this on Tumblr, and I think you will find the results lolsy.
    http://thetwistedrope.tumblr.com/post/76376575624/spirituality-and-religion-are-not-fun

  2. Heather says:

    Brillant satire!

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